Friday, April 30, 2021

Doors

I closed the door.  I stood in the quiet, the natural light, the tidy room.  A new discovery, I was alone.


In general we’ve always been an open door family.  Potty training was a family affair with everyone cheering everyone on.  My four kids found comfort in being with and/or hearing each other so bedroom doors were rarely closed.  I liked being able to hear them also. Then as we moved into the teenage years, we established rules that kept bedroom doors open if technology was present. Although doors are closed more frequently for privacy, it’s still not a norm around here. 


Since school closed in March 2020, I’m very rarely, if ever, alone.  There is always a kid up late with me or a kid up early.  Every room that I walk into for a minute of solitude I hear “hi mom” from a couch or chair that was hidden from view when I walked in.  If I head out for walk, a child will excitedly offer to come with me.  I appreciate the friendliness, but long for solitude too.


There are many sayings about closed doors suggesting a lack of opportunity or the end of something.  But on this day I discovered that this closed door was the opposite.  


I walked into my room and mindlessly closed the door behind me. When it shut I realized the opportunity this closed door offered.  I sat in the stillness for a minute and marveled at this new discovery.  I could be alone here.  I stood for a minute and took it in:  the bed that I make every morning, the natural light coming in the large windows, the solitude. 


Behind a closed door, I have found my space... and I’ve kept it a secret. 


9 comments:

  1. Sometimes a body just needs a little "just me" time. No matter how much you love those who surround you, 24/7 is a bit much. Enjoy your refuge and shhh- I won't tell.
    Welcome to SOS and I have enjoyed your articles from Choice Literacy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Elsie! Thank you for reading this (and my Choice Literacy articles!). I'm excited to jump into this writing community, I appreciate the welcome. ❤️

      Delete
  2. Love the title of your blog. I no longer subscribe to Choice Literacy, but it was a lifeline when I was still teaching. I love what you discovered behind your closed door. I'm a fellow PNW blogger. Welcome to Sharing Our Stories!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PNW too!?! Yay! I'm just outside of Portland :). I agree, Choice Literacy has been a lifeline for me, particularly back when I was working through how to get my reading workshop up and running. I'm excited to join this writing community, thanks for reading! ❤️

      Delete
  3. Everyone needs some alone time now and then. Sweet silence is so nice sometimes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, so true. Now that we're back to some in-person teaching, the drive to school gives me a few minutes of alone time, it nice!

      Delete
  4. Bitsy,
    What a fun peek into your life! This line resonated with me: "There is always a kid up late with me or a kid up early." I've found myself "going to bed" early just to snag a few minutes alone! Thanks for writing...can't wait to read more.
    Hugs,
    Ruth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm happy to join in this writing community, thank you for the writing encouragement and for sharing this site.❤️

      Delete
  5. Through your words, I could feel the love and warmness in your home.
    And so understand how alone time is precious too.

    ReplyDelete